'These darkly comic tales place the author snugly between Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. Be sure: Chris Fielden is one funny feller.' Allen Ashley, British Fantasy Award winner.
Amazon: 5 starts.
Order a FREE taster PDF
BUY the Book

Follow me on Twitter.
Find me on Facebook.
My Facebook Business Page.
Connect with me on LinkedIn.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Subscribe to my mailing list

* indicates required

Library

Quick links on this page:

introduction - the library's shelves - Gem Centre Museum (GCM) - Notley Nook - Pearl Room

take me back to the hall of fame

Introduction

Library

Here you will find books written by or featuring the work of AOFFWC Facebook group writers.

We have a variety of categories of books to choose from, available in print and eBook formats. You can find links to browse the different sections here:

challenge anthologies - children's - education - novels - other anthologies

poetry - short story collections

More categories will be added as we expand our stock and build more shelves.

The Library's Shelves

Browse the shelves, find a book, put your feet up and enjoy the fine writings on offer.

Challenge Anthologies

81 Words Flash Fiction Anthology

  • Authors: 1,000 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Victorina Press
  • Date Published: November 2021
  • Genre: Flash fiction, education

Adverbially Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 91 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: November 2016
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Adverbially Challenged Volume 2

  • Authors: 72 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: March 2017
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Adverbially Challenged Volume 3

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: March 2018
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Adverbially Challenged Volume 4

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: March 2019
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Adverbially Challenged Volume 5

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: November 2020
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Nonsensically Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: June 2017
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Nonsensically Challenged Volume 2

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: April 2018
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Nonsensically Challenged Volume 3

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: September 2020
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Prepositionally Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2020
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Sensorially Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: December 2017
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Sensorially Challenged Volume 2

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: June 2019
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Sensorially Challenged Volume 3

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: May 2021
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Topically Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: April 2021
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Tritely Challenged Volume 1

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: April 2018
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

Tritely Challenged Volume 2

  • Authors: 100 writing challenge authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: June 2020
  • Genre: Flash fiction, humorous, education

back to top

Children's

Curly and Tubs and the Galloping Rot

  • Author: Russell Kim Montgomery
  • Publisher: Author House
  • Date Published: August 2003
  • Genre: Children's fantasy

Strange Tales in Bradford Dale

  • Author: Irene Lofthouse
  • Publisher: Gizmo Publications
  • Date Published: November 2015
  • Genre: Children's short stories, myths, legends

Strange Tales in the Dales

  • Author: Irene Lofthouse
  • Publisher: Gizmo Publications
  • Date Published: 2015
  • Genre: Children's short stories, myths, legends

back to top

Education

How To Self-Publish A Book On Amazon

  • Author: Christopher Fielden
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: April 2016
  • Genre: Publishing reference

How to Write a Short Story, Get Published and Make Money

  • Author: Christopher Fielden
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: July 2015
  • Genre: Writing reference

back to top

Novels

A=-A

  • Author: Dimitris Anasatsiou (with input from Michael Rumsey)
  • Publisher: Jonathan Cape
  • Date Published: July 2021
  • Genre: Graphic Novel

A Year Before Christmas

  • Author: Cathy Cade
  • Publisher: Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Date Published: November 2019
  • Genre: Christmas

Dissimilar

  • Author: Ibukun Keyamo
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: Janaury 2022
  • Genre: Coming of Age

More Than A Hutch

  • Author: Russell Kim Montgomery
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: March 2018
  • Genre: Fantasy romance

Pond People

  • Author: Cathy Cade
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: November 2020
  • Genre: Fiction / humorous

The Elemental Stone: A Mortaran Novel

  • Author: Madelaine Taylor
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: December 2020
  • Genre: Fantasy

The Godmother

  • Author: Cathy Cade
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: October 2020
  • Genre: Fiction / humorous

The Last Skipjack

  • Author: Mary Fox
  • Publisher: Golden Antelope Press
  • Date Published: November 2019
  • Genre: Creative non-fiction

The Lucky Country

  • Author: Rose M Cullen
  • Publisher: FeadARead, eBook Amazon KDP
  • Date Published: March 2021
  • Genre: Literary saga

The Night Fogs

  • Author: Frances Hay
  • Publisher: Holland House Books
  • Date Published: July 2018
  • Genre: Literary fiction / speculative fiction

 

Wicked Game

  • Author: Christopher Fielden
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon and Lulu
  • Date Published: October 2009
  • Genre: Thriller

back to top

Other Anthologies

A Following Wind

  • Authors: Cathy Cade, Val Fish and other writers from Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Publisher: Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Date Published: December 2019
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Crunchy With Ketchup

  • Authors: Christopher Fielden and other authors
  • Publisher: WolfSinger Publications
  • Date Published: August 2021
  • Genre: Fantasy short stories about dragons

Death of a Superhero

  • Authors: Brindley Hallam Dennis, Christopher Fielden, Kaya Ra Edwards and Mandy Huggins
  • Publisher: InkTears
  • Date Published: November 2017
  • Genre: Short stories and flash fiction of varying genres

Eckleburg No. 21

  • Authors: Mary Fox and many other authors
  • Publisher: Moon Milk Press
  • Date Published: March 2020
  • Genre: Various

Edge of Passion

  • Authors: 19, including Michael Rumsey
  • Publisher: Marble City Publishing
  • Date Published: June 2014
  • Genre: Short stories of mystery, crime, suspense and romance genres

Godalming Tales 3

  • Authors: Alan Barker and other members of the Godalming Writers Group
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: July 2020
  • Genre: Mixed, but all stories have a Godalming connection

Hope is an Act of Rebellion

  • Authors: Alexandra Minns and other authors
  • Publisher: Amy Wilson
  • Date Published: December 2022
  • Genre: Mixed - short stories and poetry

How to Begin a Wonderful Life

  • Authors: Drew Taylor, Margaret Dakin, Mark Sheerin and Mike Scott Thomson
  • Publisher: InkTears
  • Date Published: November 2017
  • Genre: Short stories and flash fiction of varying genres

Secondary Character and Other Stories

  • Authors: Frances Hay and other writers
  • Publisher: Opening Chapter Press
  • Date Published: August 2015
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Spring Into SciFi: 2022

  • Authors: Alexandra Minns and other authors
  • Publisher: Cloaked Press
  • Date Published: March 2022
  • Genre: Sci-fi

Stories from Stone

  • Authors: Jill Lang, Alyson Faye, Pam Line, Stuart Firth, Christine Edwards, Gillian Wright and Irene Lofthouse
  • Publisher: Gizmo Publications
  • Date Published: June 2018
  • Genre: Stories inspired by Grade II Undercliffe Cemetery, Bradford - poetry and prose

Stories from the Lockdown: A Writers Against Covid-19 publication

  • Authors: Michael Rumsey and other authors
  • Publisher: Writers Against Covid -19
  • Date Published: June 2021
  • Genre: Various 'coffee break easy reads'

The Forgotten

  • Authors: John Notley and other authors
  • Publisher: Michael Terrance Publishing
  • Date Published: March 2020
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Today’s Specials - A selection of literary delights

  • Authors: Lesley Anne Truchet and other members of Oldham Café Writing Group
  • Publisher: Oldham Writing Café
  • Date Published: January 2017
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2023

  • Authors: 26 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2023
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2021

  • Authors: 25 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2021
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2019

  • Authors: 28 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2019
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2018

  • Authors: 27 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2018
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2017

  • Authors: 27 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2017
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2016

  • Authors: 29 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2016
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2015

  • Authors: 26 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2015
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

To Hull And Back Short Story Anthology 2014

  • Authors: 27 different authors
  • Publisher: Christopher Fielden
  • Date Published: October 2014
  • Genre: Humorous short stories

Turkish Delight

  • Authors: John Notley and other authors
  • Publisher: Michael Terrance Publishing
  • Date Published: December 2017
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Voices Along The Road

  • Authors: Maggie Elliott and other writers
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: February 2018
  • Genre: Poetry and flash fiction of varying genres

Where the Wild Winds Blow

  • Authors: Cathy Cade, Val Fish and other writers from Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Publisher: Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Date Published: November 2018
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Winter of Wonder: Fauna

  • Authors: Alexandra Minns and other authors
  • Publisher: Cloaked Press
  • Date Published: December 2022
  • Genre: Sci-fi and fantasy

back to top

Poetry

A Sexagenarian From Smithy Fen: and Other Limericks

  • Author: Valerie Fish
  • Publisher: Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Date Published: July 2021
  • Genre: Limericks, humour

back to top

Short Story Collections

Badlands

  • Author: Alyson Faye
  • Publisher: Chapeltown Books
  • Date Published: January 2018
  • Genre: Flash fiction of various genres

Book of the Bloodless Volume 1: Alternative Afterlives

  • Author: Christopher Fielden
  • Publisher: Victorina Press
  • Date Published: November 2019
  • Genre: Humorous fantasy

Darkness in Durrington

  • Author: Derek and Angela McMillan
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: August 2019
  • Genre: Crime

KOBY and LEAH: together forever

  • Author: Aviva Derenowski
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: February 2021
  • Genre: Flash fiction, relationships

Pot Pourri

  • Author: Derek and Angela McMillan
  • Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
  • Date Published: December 2017
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

Witch Way and Other Ambiguous Stories

  • Author: Cathy Cade
  • Publisher: Whittlesey Wordsmiths
  • Date Published: November 2019
  • Genre: Short stories of varying genres

back to top

Gem Centre Museum (GCM)

Museum

The Gem Centre Museum (GCM) was added to the library's west wing in the summer of 2022. Here, we celebrate memorable quotes from some of our members.

  • Adele Evershed. A comment upon receiving congratulations for OS: "And to think it all  began with 81 words."
  • Amanda Jane Davies, taken from the Cross challenge: "If you cross a baby goat with a narcoleptic, do you get a kidnapper?"
  • Andrew Ball, taken from the Pet Hates Writing Challenge: "I wish I had written that."
  • Archie Iyer, taken from the One Word challenge: "The horse's place is firmly fixed. (Stable)"
  • Cathy Cade, taken from the Moidi challenge: "My son fancies himself as a stand-up comedian. He may change his mind after his next couple of gigs in working men's clubs notorious for leaving no turn unstoned."
  • Christine Nedahl from Pairs Part 2. "To be or not to be in an unfathomable knot to unravel."
  • Christine Nedahl, taken from the Moidi challenge: "He needed a few quid and quick. It'll be a gateau slice, he thought without thinking it through. The seas started to simmer before the cat bell even registered. His bridges were ash, the wall pressing into his back as the effect of a gathering snowball overwhelmed him and he was less in for a pound... more for a stretch at His Majesty's pleasure!"
  • David Silver, taken from the Cross challenge: "If you cross Chris Fielden with the bear from Jungle Book on a motor bike trip you get hullabaloo."
  • Elizabeth Coby, taken from the Cross challenge: "If you cross a lemon with a cat, do you get a sourpuss?"
  • Fung Sing, taken from the Moidi challenge: "The guy behind bars thought, Fun dies when you're doing time."
  • Glo Curl, taken from Give Us A Clue challenge. "Did Einstein’s cat get this? 1 6 2 6. The answer was a stroke of genius."
  • Glo Curl, taken from the Moidi challenge: "I roasted a chicken and sent half each to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. They both died from food poisoning and I was arrested and charged with killing two Stones with one bird."
  • John Notley, taken from the Cross challenge: " If you cross an optician with blurred vision, do you get an optimist?"
  • Josephine Andersen, taken from Longer / Shorter Stories challenge. "I can bring one of my 8,000 word stories to zero without any trouble."
  • Kay Reeves, taken from the Cross challenge: "If you cross a singer with an insect, do you get a humbug?"
  • Kay Reeves, taken from the One Word challenge: "This animal gets a medal for persistence. (Badger)"
  • Kim Montgomery, taken from the Proverb Endings Challenge: "Pride cometh before... all the antelopes run away."
  • Liz Berg, taken from the One Word challenge: "Dig into the ground or send (Post)"
  • Lynn Zeleski from Pairs Part 2. "What with the storms of late, I'm sealing my ceiling to keep the rainwater out."
  • Mandy Garzia, taken from the One Word challenge: "Stubborn concealed in prettiness. (Persistent)"
  • Tony Thatcher, taken from Monday Word incertitude: "I am not sure what incertitude means."
  • Val Fish, taken from the Cross challenge: " If you cross Nelson with Ned Kelly, do you get a one-armed bandit?

back to top

Notley Nook

Notley Nook

A secret corner of the museum, covered in cobwebs, Notley Nook contains daft definitions of words. Maybe, one day, a new dictionary will be printed...

A

Abacus – a well-known Norwegian group that swears (Kate Dunbar)

Alpine – what you say when your loved one is leaving for a long time (Maggie Elliott)

Antagonist – relative who writes the agony column in a newspaper (Maggie Elliott)

Approximate – closest thing to a friend (Bob Pembroke)

Attitude – dog ruined my trilby (Kate McDonald)

Autosuggestion – a car salesman's advice (David Silver)

B

Ballroom – baggy underwear (Kay Reeves)

Banner – don’t let her back in (Bob Pembroke)

Billowed – unpaid debt (Michael Rumsey)

Blurb – a sound emitted by politicians on a regular basis (Malcolm Richardson)

Brink – cold squid (Christine Nedahl)

Bulldozer – sleeping male bovine (Michael Rumsey)

C

Carpet – back window nodding dog (Christine Nedahl)

Catchment – selection intended (Christine Nedahl)

Content – a happy camper (Shanne Wolberg)

Continent - accident-free (Glo Curl)

Cooker – chef who also works as a prostitute (Bob Pembroke)

Cryptic – mark made on the basement door (Kay Reeves)

D

Debris – de French cheese (Lesley Anne Truchet)

Defeat – de limbs at the end of de legs (Maggie Elliott)

Dipthong – quick swim in skimpy underwear (Fung Sing)

Doorknob – bouncer at a night club (Kate Dunbar)

Drabble – a gathering of one-hundred daft definition writers (Anita Bowden)

Dynasty – evening meal with the pigs (Michael Rumsey)

E 

Editing – bashing your head in the East End of London (Amanda Jane Davies)

Emery – smooth 70's comedian (Kennedy Meecham)

Endear – a lobe (Michael Rumsey)

Epicentre – point of entry of an EpiPen (Maggie Elliott)

Exit – used to be ‘it’ but now isn’t (Kay Reeves)

Expert – used to be cheeky (Kay Reeves)

F

Factory – a place for producing conservatives (Bob Pembroke)

Fallow – the direction you go when you lose your footing (Kelly Jeanne)

Fluvial – a small container to carry medicines for common ailments (Kiran Ramachandran)

Flycatcher – a person who assists in zip and button closure (Claudia Nicholson)

Folio – unfriendly Lion (John Notley)

Freezer – a jolly good fellow (Kay Reeves)

G

Galaxy – being spaced out while eating a chocolate bar (Jasmin Al Jarrah)

Gastric – lighting one’s farts (Chris Green)

Gastronome – a small person with good taste (John Notley)

Geodesy – Greek saga (Michael Rumsey)

Glowing Report – written too near the reactor (Glo Curl)

Guidelines – camping info (Christine Nedahl)

H

Heavyweight – the Mrs (Bob Pembroke)

High Five – Rolling Stones stoned (Val Fish)

Highlight – a lighthouse (Michael Thurgood)

Himalaya – mistaken gender of fowl (Christine Nedahl)

Hole-puncher – machine for making small, useless, circles (Kay Reeves)

Hyphen – hyperactive hen (Pat Mudge)

I

Ice cap – bag placed on head to treat hangover (Maggie Elliott)

Incendiary – explosive tell-all (Mandy Garzia)

Insight – seen at close distance (John Notley)

Invest – not fully naked (David Silver)

Irate – optician report (Christine Nedahl)

Irony – a bionic knee (Jayne Morgan)

J

Jamboree – someone who talks a lot about jam (Amanda Jane Davies)

Jargon – lost your jam container (Kennedy Meecham)

Jitterbug – nervous insect (Bob Pembroke)

Jonkoping – Swedish way of assuring that a man is steadily recovering from tragedy or trauma (Kiran Ramachadran)

Jotting – cross between trotting and jogging (Kay Reeves)

Jukebox – John Wayne cricket apparel (Kennedy Meecham)

K

Kernel - a nutty army officer (Michael Rumsey)

Ketchup – a good gossip (John Notley)

Kinesthetic – beautiful family (Christine Nedahl)

Kiwi – the act of locking the toilet door (Kay Reeves)

Knowlegable – now able to balance on a ledge (Shanne Wolberg)

Krakatoa – stubbing your foot – very painful (Boakesey Closs)

L

Lagoon – a French eccentric / fool (Kiran Ramachandran)

Latex – the reason he’s no more (Christine Nedahl)

Laureate – cafe at a lorry park (Maggie Elliott)

Lobster – undersea gangster (Bob Pembroke)

Lumberjack – put all the blame on Jack (Bob Pembroke)

Lunatic – a twitch in the moon (Michael Rumsey)

M

Manchester – a bloke who walks around with no top on (Amanda Jane Davies)

Meanie – the middle part of my leg (Allen Ashley)

Mendicant – totally useless at DIY (Kate Dunbar)

Meter – introduction to wife (Kay Reeves)

Miscalculation – unmarried female mathematician (Michael Rumsey)

Mondegreen – a new environmental campaigning organisation made up of young people dedicated to the wellbeing and protection of the natural world (Barbara Noble)

N

Neighbourhood – gangster living next door (Maggie Elliott)

Nightingale – evening spent in heavy winds (Bob Pembroke)

Notice – water (Michael Thurgood)

Nobel – please knock (Michael Rumsey)

Nomad – sane (Michael Rumsey)

Numbskull –feeling after heavy drinking session (Val Fish)

O

Offence – finally making a decision (Bob Pembroke)

Optimistic – suffering from cataracts (Julie Dron)

Onomatopoeia – urinating on the bathroom mat (Shanne Wolberg)

Orchard – you don’t have to have sprouts (Christine Nedahl)

Over – what you wish a cricket match was (Kay Reeves)

Oxford – where the bovines cross the river (Kay Reeves)

P

Paddywack – shillelach (Maggie Elliott)

Paragon – shout heard when a parachutist leaps from a plane (Maggie Elliott)

Pastoral – success in a spoken test (Michael Rumsey)

Principal – friend of the King’s son (Michael Rumsey)

Promiscuous – the art of making promises (Amanda Jane Davies)

Pathos – the fifth musketeer (Barbara Noble)

Q

Quackers – nursery for ducklings (Christine Nedahl)

Quadrant – four siblings arguing (Maggie Elliott)

Quarry – question and worry about one's actions simultaneously (Shanne Wolberg)

Questionaire – to find the level of pollution (John Notley)

Quicksand – a warning cry to stop someone getting that sinking feeling (Val Fish)

Quintessential – the five senses (Lesley Anne Truchet)

R

Rainbow – the knot used to fasten an umbrella (Kay Reeves)

Ramparts – pieces of male sheep (Bob Pembroke)

Readership – a floating bookshop (Maggie Elliott)

Review – double take (Kay Reeves)

Rubicon – fraud involving a precious stone (Michael Rumsey)

Rumpus – liquor loving noisy cat (Christine Nedahl)

S

Sandwich – desert sorceress (Archie Iyer)

Scree – sound made by a climber, falling off a cliff, cut off short (Boaksey Closs)

Senile – visit Egypt (Kate Dunbar)

Stash – remainder of wooden staircase after a fire (Boakesey Closs)

Suspense – the delicate mood in the junk drawer (Mandy Garzia)

Syntax – extra tax levied in Ann Summers goods (Maggie Elliott)

T

Terrain – wet stuff from t' sky (Glo Curl)

Tick – insect found squashed on your homework (Kay Reeves)

Tmesis – what my brother used to say to me when we were playing rugby with friends in our back garden (Barbara Noble)

Truculent – the lorry you allowed someone to borrow (Michael Rumsey)

Tweezers – wee teasers, also known as smarty-pants tiny tots (Mandy Garzia)

Typist – an inebriated stenographer (John Notley)

U

Underscore – failing to make the grade (Melanie Barrow)

Undersecretary – a happy executive (Lesley Anne Truchet)

Universe – a single stanza poem (Boakesey Closs)

Until – where the UN keep their money (Kay Reeves)

Universe – one line poem (Maggie Elliott)

Urinal – Al has been accepted (Lesley Anne Truchet)

V

Vanish – like a small lorry (Michael Rumsey)

Veil – something tagged on to Noah but with no success (Michael Rumsey)

Vent – an opening on the Earth's surface that, because of lack of therapy, has a need for an occasional rant (Kelly Jeanne)

Verses – up against (Shanne Wolberg)

Viking – compete to be royalty (Shanne Wolberg)

Vinaigrette – remorse from drinking too much wine (Barbara Noble)

W

Wagga Wagga – a very happy dog (Chris Fielden)

Weatherman – indecisive male (Maggie Elliott)

Weeding – small dent after car crash (Bob Pembroke)

Winning streak – first past the post in a nude race (Maggie Elliot)

Winsome – occasionally lucky (Glo Curl)

Writer’s Block – apartment building specifically for authors (Maggie Elliott)

X

X-ray – bloke who changed his name to Bill (Michael Rumsey)

Xerophily – no Welsh cheese (Lesley Anne Truchet)

Xerophyte – complete absence of violence (Kiran Ramachandran)

Xerosere – Xero has just arrived (Lesley Anne Truchet)

Xmas – loss of some bulk (Michael Rumsey)

Xyst – to be (Mandy Garzia)

Y

Yakitori – verbose Conservative member of parliament (Barabara Noble)

Yellow Fever – attack of cowardice (Val Fish)

Yellowstone – when you gotta go, you gotta go (David Ball)

Yertle – gargling in a Siberian tent (Lynn Zeleski)

Yodel – what the delivery driver does when your bell isn't working (Boakesey Closs)

Yoghurt – aching muscles after yoga class (Shanne Wolberg)

Z

Zealous – the nasty creature that inhabits intimate areas (Liz Berg)

Zero – the last line of seats in a theatre (Michael Rumsey)

Zircon – husband of Lady Con (Kay Reeves)

Zoological – intellectual animals (Christine Nedahl)

Zootopia – animal heaven (Christine Nedahl)

Zzzzz – a severe case of writer’s block (Malcolm Richardson)

back to top

Pearl Room

Pearl Room

The Pearl Room is another secret corner of the museum, celebrating winners of our more poetic challenges. They are listed below.

Adele Evershed

Andrew Ball

Eileen Baldwin

Gail Krysko

Glo Curl

Isabel Flynn

Kay Reeves (2)

Lesley Anne Truchet

Melanie Barrow

Shanne Wolberg

back to top

Share

This page may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy.

Leave your comments

Please use the form below to leave your comments. All comments will be reviewed so won't appear on the page instantly. I will not share your details with anyone else. Most recent comments appear at the bottom of the page, oldest at the top.

Your Details:

Please prove you're a human by entering the security code in the box below: 3537

Comments:

Your comments: