Writing Challenges:
The Cliche Writing Challenge is temporarily closed while I complete work on my website redesign
It will re-open on for submissions on 1st September 2024
Quick links on this page:
rules & how to submit - about the cliché challenge - read cliché overloaded stories
Chris Writefear, explaining the concept of cliché overuse to the legend that is Joody Higgins
Welcome to Chris's Colossal Cliché Count Writing Challenge, run in conjunction with the UK's first ever festival dedicated to flash fiction. The inaugural festival took place in Bath. Since then, the event has run every year, held in Bath or Bristol.
The cliché challenge opened for submissions on Saturday 24th June 2017, to festival attendees.
The challenge opened for general submissions on this website on Saturday 1st July 2017.
The Cliche Writing Challenge is temporarily closed while I complete work on my website redesign
It will re-open on for submissions on 1st September 2024
As sure as eggs are eggs, the rules are nice and simple:
So far, we've received 233 stories and published 2 anthologies.
This challenge is now website publishing only. Author biographies will appear on the website alongside their published stories.
The Cliche Writing Challenge is temporarily closed while I complete work on my website redesign
It will re-open on for submissions on 1st September 2024
Many writers overuse clichés.
To stand out from the crowd (see what I did there?), a writer needs to develop an original voice that the reader can identify and engage with. Clichés detract from this and often lead to rejection from magazine editors and competition judges.
The term 'cliché' doesn't just refer to overused figures of speech. Clichés can also be stereotypes or opinions or characters or plots that are trite and indicate a lack of original thought. For example :
To raise awareness of this common writing mistake, we are asking for flash fiction stories up to 150 words in length, stuffed with as many clichés as humanly possible.
The first anthology – Tritely Challenged Volume 1 – was published in April 2018. It contains the first 100 stories submitted to the challenge.
The second anthology – Tritely Challenged Volume 2 – was published in June 2020. It contains another 100 stories submitted to the challenge.
We are still accepting submissions to this challenge and stories will be published on this page along with author biographies. We will not be publishing anymore books via this writing challenge.
Proceeds from sales of the cliché writing challenge anthologies will be donated to Book Aid International. A raffle took place at the festival, proceeds from which were also be donated to the charity.
Book Aid International is the UK’s leading international book donation and library development charity. The charity’s vision is a world where everyone has access to the books that will enrich, improve and change their lives. Every year, Book Aid International sends around one million, carefully selected books to thousands of libraries, schools, Universities, hospitals and refugee camps around the world.
I've been in contact with Jude Higgins for quite a few years. Jude is involved with running the Bath Flash Fiction Award, the Bath Short Story Award and many other writing projects in Bath and the surrounding area. I list many of them in the competition lists on my website.
I heard about the inaugural Flash Fiction Festival via the Bath Flash Fiction Award email newsletters. I contacted Jude and asked if I could be involved. She said, "Yes," and invited me to run a flash fiction writing challenge workshop at the festival.
I presented and read at the festival on the 24th and 25th of June 2017. It was lovely to meet so many writers at the event, many of whom already had their stories published in the writing challenge anthologies.
Chris, reading some adverbially overloaded stories at the Flash Fiction Festival
Like the other writing challenges on this website, the cliché challenge will continue running indefinitely.
Each time we receive a story, it will be published on the website. Every time we receive 100 cliché-crammed stories, we'll publish a book. No more books will be published via this challenge, but all the proceeds from existing books will still go to charity.
The challenge is a bit of fun, you can read all the stories here on the site and you now know about Book Aid International and will feel compelled to give them money as often as you can. Everyone wins.
Below you will find all the cliché-riddled stories submitted to the challenge. I hope you enjoy reading them.
The stories are published in the order they were received.
We received our 100th story on 5th February 2018. The first 100 stories submitted to the cliché challenge were removed from the website on 4th March 2018.
Tritely Challenged Volume 1 was released on 28th April 2018. You can learn more about the book here. It contains 100 flash fiction stories written by 100 authors.
You can read other stories that have been submitted to the challenge below.
We received our 200th story on 28th April 2019. The second batch of 100 stories submitted to the cliché challenge were removed from the website on 16th May 2020.
Tritely Challenged Volume 2 was published on 27th June 2020. It contains 100 flash fiction stories written by 100 authors.
TC V2 will be the last book published via the cliché challenge. The challenge is now website publishing only.
Below, you can read cliché challenge stories from number 201 onwards. This collection of stories will not be published in a book, but will be available for the reading pleasure of the planet on this website as Tritely Challenged Volume 3.
Story 201
New-Fangled Gizmos Ain’t All They’re Cracked Up To Be
by Christopher Fielden
"What's a Facebook?" asked Grandad Gilbert.
Felicity rolled her eyes. "Facebook is a social media platform, Grandad."
"Never heard of it."
"It's fun. You should try it."
Grandad Gilbert didn't like the sound of Facebook one little bit. "Back in my day, we didn't have none of these fancy gadgets you kids have today. We used to entertain ourselves just fine, running around outside, getting into trouble. You should try that."
Felicity didn't reply. She was fiddling with her phone, totally immersed.
"Problem is, young'uns don't have no social skills nowadays, because of them phones. You don't listen."
Felicity proved his point by ignoring him.
"The lights are on, but no one's home," he muttered.
"Grandad, look, a cat." Before Grandad Gilbert could protest, Felicity cuddled up next to him on the sofa. "So cute, isn't it?"
I guess these new-fangled gizmos ain’t all bad, thought Grandad Gilbert.
~
Christopher Fielden Author Biography:
Chris writes, runs a humorous short story competition, plays drums and rides his motorcycle, sometimes to Hull. And back again. He runs a multitude of writing challenges and has published thousands of authors in support of charity.
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Story 202
Original
by Allen Ashley
I love the original Star Trek series and have it all on DVD. But which is my favourite episode? Oh you know the one: The 'Enterprise' gets trapped in a force-field which makes them all fall over on the bridge. Then half a dozen crewmen beam down to a planet that looks remarkably like a studio version of the Nevada Desert. The yeoman in the red sweatshirt gets killed in a misunderstanding. There's this super-intelligence or alien in human form who threatens Kirk and his men but who's also got this beautiful daughter 'Vena' (?) with 1960s hair, Ancient Greek clothing and soft focus face. Kirk falls in love with Vena so has to rely on Spock to beat the bad guy. The woman turns out to be a robot / an illusion. McCoy makes some jibes about Spock's green blood.
Then it's: "Warp factor one, Mr Sulu." Yes, that episode.
~
Allen Ashley Author Biography:
Allen Ashley is co-originator of the Sensory Challenge. His most recent book is the poetry collection Echoes from an Expired Earth (Demain Publishing, UK, 2020). He is President Elect of the British Fantasy Society.
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Story 203
If I Am Any Judge
by Michael Rumsey
A friend of mine runs a writer's group. Without a word of warning, right out of the blue, he asked if I'd judge some competition entries. Always happy to oblige, I didn't know what I'd let myself in for.
The first batch was Science Fiction stories, some out of this world. Next, the cliché genre. One piece was about a bloke bolting upstream with a horse, trying not to count chickens. Left me quite paddled... Surely the prompt word stories would be easier to evaluate? The word was coiffure. Made my hair stand on end. Some presentations went over my head and it seemed as long as a wet fortnight before my judgement was cut and dried.
But at the end of the day, all things being equal, I think the members of this group are clever, articulate, talented and will continue to be so... if I am any judge.
~
Michael Rumsey Author Biography:
Michael is an enthusiastic and frequent contributor to AotFFWC. He lives in Athens but openly admits some of the group activities are all Greek to him.
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Story 204
Plan B
by Paul Mastaglio
Standing on her doorstep, Trevor was explaining himself to Beryl.
"I lost track of time, love."
"Are those flowers for me?" she replied.
"Roses are red, violets are blue and I'm so in love with you."
Beryl laughed. "Play your cards right and you might be in with a chance tonight."
Trevor beamed as if he was a kid in a candy store. He stepped inside and was glad he hadn't put all his eggs in one basket after Grace had rejected him earlier in the day. Time heals all wounds, especially when you've got a Plan B.
~
Paul Mastaglio Author Biography:
Lives at the coast in the North East of England and enjoys archery, reading, cinema and visiting National Trust places.
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Story 205
Hackneyed Cab
by Geoff Holme
"Quick, follow that car."
"You 'avin' a larf?"
"Never more serious in my life. I'm DI Benson, New Scotland Yard."
"Wotsit all abaht then, mate?"
"No time for that now. All I can say is, it's a matter of life and death. Put your foot down."
"I'm goin' as fast as I can."
"It's no good, he's getting away. We'll never get to Cadogan Gardens in time."
"There's jus' one fing I don't understand, Inspector: if you knew where he was goin', why didn't you say?"
"Why? What can we do?"
"There's only one thing we CAN do..."
"Spit it out, man."
"We can head 'im off at the pass... I know a shortcut."
"For crying out loud, why didn't you say so before? Can you make it?"
"I'll give it me best shot."
"OK, go for it."
"Right, 'ang on to your 'at. This could be a bumpy ride."
~
Geoff Holme Author Biography:
Geoff is retired and therefore free to spend most of his time trying to improve his writing. In a previous life, he wrote over 300 SPAMericks – go on, Google it!
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Story 206
Matrimonial Gaffes
by Matilda Pinto
"Some of us Indians are like that only," said Maya. "With these matrimonial ads, I want to hope against hope that people still believe marriages are made in heaven. For example, this one is nothing but a howler."
'Tall, handsome, 37, working for a multinational company, USA, a double graduate, earning six-figure salary, Kota brahmin from a cultured background in India, looking for a homely bride of fair complexion, convent educated and English speaking, with charming social skills.'
"Black or white? He knows nothing about beauty," harrumphed Maya. "Only of beauty, which is skin deep, whereas beauty that is in the eye of the beholder is shown the door.
"Why, the million shades of duskiness are just as beautiful and enticing as dark chocolate, cinnamon mocha, and caramel delight? Look at Caesar and Cleopatra, what a combo? One should celebrate various shades of beauty and everything in between."
~
Matilda Pinto Author Biography:
Matilda has found a new urgency in her life. With the present pandemic, life has become both uncertain and fragile. She wants to make the most of it by letting folks know how precious they are. She's a published writer.
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Story 207
Get Them
by Ville Nummenpää
"Stop them before it's too late," Drex Lethal, evil megalomaniac shouted.
Randy, second in command, was baffled. Why did he insist on stating the obvious? They were planning to blow up Europe. The hero and the bikini-clad nuclear scientist were defusing the bomb. So duh, stopping them was kinda important.
"Get them, we must not fail."
Randy wanted to quit. How could anyone work under these conditions? Nothing but unnecessary clichés. He was halfway out the door, but stopped. Would he finally confront his boss about this? No. He decided to do his part, which was to get his subordinates killed, then grab the girl, hear the words 'let her go' then get decapitated by an elevator car or something.
He took some comfort knowing he would never have to hear atrocities such as 'seize them, 'the time has come', or 'hook, line and sinker' ever again.
~
Ville Nummenpää Author Biography:
Ville just won a prestigious stage play-award in his home country, Finland, and is launching a new career writing for television, possibly cinema. He's always up for writing something fun, under any excuse imaginable.
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Story 208
Love's Labour Rewarded
by Majella Pinto
Once upon a time, there lived a boy who belonged to the highest caste, next only to God. Men of wealth and power heeded the caste's advice and invited them to officiate at important ceremonies, like weddings and christenings.
Then, one day, a boy of this caste fell in love with a girl whose father grazed cows of the local politician. The great shame prompted the elders to punish them and put an end to such daring endeavours by future generations blinded by love. This must be done so that the sins of one may not take down an entire caste and revile their spirits for eternity.
A little birdie carried this news to the lovers, who eloped and started their lives under a new name and a new religion and lived happily ever after. When their children asked them what caste they belonged to, they said, "Love."
~
Majella Pinto Author Biography:
Majella was born in India, moved to California as an adult and lives there with her husband and two sons. She works in Silicon Valley to indulge her left brain and her spare time is dedicated to her right brain, which pampers itself in artistic and literary pursuits.
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Story 209
Ovine Antipathy
by Phil Maud
A great name, a fearsome name ruined.
Armed to the teeth, the fox in his henhouse; you won’t hear another bleat out of him.
Full steam ahead and spare the mint sauce. Down and dirty in the farmyard until he has breathed his last.
It goes without saying, he’s really got my back up. Rich and famous, world domination; these belong to me, not some woolly smile. I can be a contender in a world where he is a distant memory.
While he’s alive there’s not a hope in hell my name will sit there with Capone or Clyde.
He’s too good-time, too feel-good, too comedy. This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
He is the kiss of death for all my dreams now I’ve seen the light.
Tomorrow, after the sun rises, when they whisper my name it will be because they’re scared to death.
Shaun.
~
Phil Maud Author Biography:
Phil is a new writer. His interests are fantasy and science fiction but currently many of his stories are about hell. Sometimes he will write something at “The procrastination pen” blog, which you can find from your favourite search engine.
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Story 210
All's Well That Ends Well
by Lesley Anne Truchet
Day in, day out, I travel this route to work and back. After a busy day I was dog tired and needed an urgent pee. It was a pain in the neck to have to stop.
Veering across the road, I parked by the roadside. I took out my green eyed monster and sighed with relief, watching the golden stream hit the ground. A low rumble echoed; stones were dropping all around me. A huge falling boulder narrowly missed me and landed on the back of a passing open truck and bounced onto...
I was scared out of my wits. Talk about a fall by the wayside. I almost bit the dust. Against all the odds...
My pain in the neck stop was almost a fatal pain in the neck. The boulder bounced from the truck onto my car and destroyed it, just seconds after I got out of it.
~
Lesley Anne Truchet Author Biography:
Lesley Truchet has been writing for several years and has a number of short stories, articles and poetry published on paper and on the internet and is currently writing her first novel.
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Story 211
A Friendly Game
by Daniel Son
Morris was known for his infamous poker face. His cold, steely demeanour made it seem as if the cat got his tongue, which was an exemplary facade. He was stone-faced, his eyes were laser focused, moving around the poker table at his opponents. He smugly realised, fairly quickly, that he was a big fish in a small pond, gloating inwardly about how clearly out of their depth they were.
Their sneering remarks and fidgety hands revealed that they were all bark and no bite. He quickly scanned his cards, noticing that he was one card short of a full house; one card short of his ace in the hole. He felt for the hidden trump card secretly taped to one of his spades. He silently threw down his cards, hoping the luck of the draw would be in his favour.
~
Daniel Son Author Biography:
Daniel Son is a High School student at Bergen County Academies in Hackensack, NJ. He enjoys writing and lives with his family in Palisades Park, NJ.
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Story 212
Thank God It's Friday
by Clare Tivey
The writings on the wall. Mr Slimy landed the promotion, although he'd already got one paw in the chicken coop.
In a jiffy, he caught up with me in the corridor.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist about it darling, every cloud has a silver lining. I have nerves of steel, a true diamond in the rough, where as you – weak as a kitten."
He then made a strange meowing sound before continuing, "If you play your cards right, you'll be as happy as a clam working for me."
On Friday, a little bird told me that Mr Slimy is recovering in hospital, after crashing his Porsche. Apparently driving like a bat out of hell, high as a kite, with some model in the passenger seat.
Best not to cry over spilt milk, all is fair in love and war, and the boardroom. I've just been promoted.
~
Clare Tivey Author Biography:
Resides in Suffolk, with her better half. Often has a bee in her bonnet and puts pen to paper for the writing challenges, because an idle mind is the devil's playground, or something like that.
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Story 213
Family Ties
by Valerie Fish
The skeleton was about to come out of its cupboard; it was time she faced the music... He handed her the certificate. Not from little brother to big sister, but from son to mother. The evidence was there in black and white.
She went as white as a sheet, just as he had done a few days earlier, when everything he thought he knew had gone out of the window.
He was still reeling from the shock, and yet, at the same time, everything had suddenly fallen into place. How had he not seen what was right under his nose?
Whatever, now he was going to make his darling mother pay for all those years of deceit. If she was after forgiveness, well... she could whistle for it.
And the moral of this sorry saga is: if you go digging into your family tree, be prepared for some rotten branches.
~
Valerie Fish Author Biography:
Valerie, originally born and bred in London, now living in the Fens, keeps busy in her retirement with her lifelong love of writing. She is a member of Whittlesey Wordsmiths, a local writing group who have had two anthologies published.
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Story 214
Only Children and Fools Tell the Truth
by Mark Rutherford
"You're not the sharpest tool." A man with a face as mean as a barnyard dog spoke first.
My face was as red as beet. I felt as awkward as a cow on skates.
"Leave the wee fella alone. A tea, while we wait for Sonny to get back?" A man with a face only a mother could love handed me a mug. "The Devil is in the details," he said, before adding, somewhat unfortunately, I thought, "The bullet will find it's mark."
Six raps on the kitchen door. Sonny was back.
"Tempus Fugit," Mean Face said.
"He's telling the Gospel Truth," said Sonny. "Someone's painted over the 'I' and added a 'C'. Poor wee sap thought that he was joining the RAC, not the IRA."
The boss looked at me as if with a fresh pair of eyes. "Only children and fools tell the truth."
~
Mark Rutherford Author Biography:
In between reading & trying to write I enjoy being bossed about by my 4 year old granddaughter who as taught me how to play Minecraft & Among Us so that we (she) can play them on my PC. I also live in the Scottish Highlands & seek light relief (!) as a Flying Instructor.
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Story 215
Digging for the Truth
by John Notley
"I suppose the sky's the limit now that you've hit the jackpot," I said to my mate Jack in The Falcon.
"It's no big deal, the luck of the draw," he muttered.
I had heard of his lottery win and wanted to learn more. "Seems like the cat's got your tongue, or am I being a nosey parker? How much"
"That would be telling. If you want me to let the cat out of the bag, buy me a beer."
"OK. Spill the beans then – living in clover on the Riviera, a house on millionaires' row, a life of Riley. What's it to be?"
He shook his head sheepishly. I was becoming annoyed. It was like getting blood out of a stone. "Show me the cheque, Jack."
"Don't be daft. You wouldn't believe it if it was staring you in the face."
I was taken aback. "Listen, mate, it's not a matter of life and death."
"OK," he said. "It was 25 quid."
~
John Notley Author Biography:
A retired travel agent, now having time on his hands, has taken up his pen again with the intent to shake up the world of literature. Only time will tell when the Grim Reaper will get his hands on him.
*
Story 216
Over The Moon
by Roger West
It's a funny old game. The other punter that lost out was sick as a parrot, but I was over the moon, completely blown away.
I needed to pull the old one two and get tight to pull this one outta the bag. Kinda him or me. Yeah, over the moon, that's me. It was now or never. If ever there was a 1v1 situation, this was it; do or die.
Yeah, a massive mountain for a ref to climb but I reached the summit. A real big ask but I was up to the challenge. A case of the old one two and a nifty but nice wall-pass that pulled the rabbit outta the hat.
Problem was, it rained cats and dogs the night before the match. Come the day, the managers went mental, ballistic in fact.
"Game off," said I.
~
Roger West Author Biography:
I'm an experienced sports journalist/writer/reporter/commentator/broadcaster looking to get into fiction beginning with the short story. And believe you me there's a whole world of a difference between fact and fiction. Here is a good starting point.
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Story 217
On Top
by Julie Astronaut
She clung like a limpet. He was tall, dark and handsome, made her legs feel like jelly and her heart beat like a drum.
"You've landed on your feet. This is a dream come true." She licked her lips and fluttered her eyelashes. "It's the icing on the cake."
Tom was beyond himself. Never the sharpest tool in the box, he did however realise good things came to those that wait.
"Thanks to you and Viral Nation, we're off to the Big Apple." He drew her close. "Let the good times roll." Shortly, between them they would be bringing home more bacon.
"I love you to the moon and back, my sweet." She held on and imagined the fun and games they would have in a new country. He was the best thing since sliced bread and she was a lucky girl.
All's well that ends well.
~
Julie Astronaut Author Biography:
Locked down, I have decided to look at an escape route. One that doesn't cost much other than my time. So far so good.
*
Story 218
Podium Speaker
by Minhong Kim
"I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, everyone will be successful. When I was a young boy, my father told me to work hard. 'Work hard, then you'll succeed,' he told me. I didn't believe this at first. But I've lived longer than most of you now, and I've found this to be true. If you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars..." Before stepping down from the podium, he proclaims, "If you work hard, anything is possible."
"Wow, a great speech don't you think?" I ask my buddy.
"Definitely. You can't judge a book by its cover," he replies, smirking a little.
The speaker makes his way down. He's wearing an oversized suit and seems like he hasn't washed his hair.
~
Minhong Kim Author Biography:
Minhong is a student living in South Korea. He enjoys listening to podcasts, reading and writing.
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Story 219
Lost Without Love
by David Nathan Isaac
Since the dawn of time, nice guys have finished last and old dogs can't learn new tricks. That's why Nathan was like a salmon travelling upstream.
Born in the summer of love, he was a hopeless romantic. Today though, it dawned on him that he was like a fish out of water.
When he was a kid someone would always fall into your lap. Back in the good old days, he'd had all the luck when it came to relationships, but today of all days was one of those days.
A man of many talents, it dawned on him that the law of attraction was not one of his strong points. Desperate for attention, it had been two weeks of trying to be in a position where he would be noticed. Alas, his love was unrequited.
He was up a creek without a paddle.
And with that, off he went into the night.
~
David Nathan Isaac Author Biography:
David Isaac is a 29-year-old man living in the middle of Scotland. An amateur who has been writing for the past two years, he has many projects yet to be completed and one other finished work.
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Story 220
Ravenous
by Glo Curl
I was hungry as a lion. My stomach had been rumbling all through the meeting and I was chomping at the bit to get out of the elevator. It was raining cats and dogs so I had to run like a bat out of hell to the deli. I sank my teeth into the cheesy colossus, chewed and swallowed.
"I could eat a horse," I said to Pierre, "make me another please."
"Of course, madame," he replied. "You need to keep your strength up."
"You're right, I work like a dog for that company. It gets my goat that I'm not appreciated."
Pierre laughed.
One day, I thought, I'll take the bull by the horns and ask him on a date. It was time to get back in the saddle, and he fitted the bill exactly. He was strong as an ox; I liked that, and his enormous baguettes.
~
Glo Curl Author Biography:
Glo dabbles in poetry and flash fiction, enjoying the discipline of brevity; moreover, she's lazy and tackling anything longer than 500 words would be extremely daunting.
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Story 221
A Perfect Storm
by Marjorie De Neys
It was raining cats and dogs as I walked down the road. A man, who looked fit as a fiddle, ran by me.
"A storm is brewing. It will be blowing a gale soon," he shouted as he sped past.
"What's he on about? There's no wind, just rain," I muttered.
The calm before the storm I thought, but carried on regardless. I should beat a hasty retreat home, but I have to get this letter posted to the good old U.S of A today.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, lightning struck the house in front of me. That was a bolt from the blue, I thought.
It really was blowing a gale now. I grabbed hold of a tree, just as the wind nearly swept me off my feet. I looked up at the angry dark sky, and smiled. A perfect storm.
~
Marjorie De Neys Author Biography:
I live in Condorrat, just outside Glasgow. I'm 54, a wife and mum. I love writing, reading, exercising and going on holiday.
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Story 222
Satan's Lair
by Antasia Shabria Armour
Red as blood in a human vessel... well, if you aren't going to work out then why are you still here?
That's not too cool though. Your cat smells and you look crazy as 'hell', so back away now or I'll keep you in Satan's lair.
~
Antasia Shabria Armour Author Biography:
I am currently living in Cleveland, OH, with my mother. I have a BA in writing & creative expression and enjoy reading, movies and having fun in the sun.
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Story 223
Haste Makes Waste
by Joshua Ngera
I could not have imagined it two weeks ago. I'm lonely as a cloud, especially after falling head over heels in love. All my friends live without a care in the world about me.
My friendship with her was as old as the hills. "The writing's on the wall," my friends said. "Make your move."
With my nerves of steel having turned weak as a kitten's, I asked her and she said, "YES."
The next week I had the time of my life but, as they say, time flies. What followed was gut-wrenching pain. I was friend-zoned.
My friends, the same from earlier, told me not to cry over spilt milk and, just like that, rushing a relationship made me lose it all like a spendthrift.
~
Joshua Ngera Author Biography:
Joshua is an aspiring writer and especially enjoys flash fiction, stream of consciousness and writing prompts.
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Story 224
The Last Duel
by Yiyao Xu
I could not have imagined it two weeks ago. I'm lonely as a cloud, especially after falling head over heels in love. All my friends live without a care in the world about me.
"You like Mary Sue?"
"Yeah, why?"
"God, I like Mary Sue."
"Come on, read between the lines, man. She's clearly into me."
"How so? Her love is low-hanging fruit to me."
"Dude, she just said yes to being my prom date."
"Are we talking about the same girl? 'Cause I asked her out about a week ago."
"You kidding? Mary Sue, the cheerleader with that pink hair, that tantalising smile, always with the two ugly bodyguard girls around them?"
"Yes, yes, and yes. Wow, you can never judge a book by its cover."
"I guess we'll just have to bring all the cards out on the table and confront her."
"I guess. I'm shooting her a text."
"Huh, I just got a message from her. Hold on. She's rejecting me now?"
"Wait a minute, are you wanderingpanda37?"
"We will never talk about this ever again. Ever."
~
Yiyao Xu Author Biography:
Yiyao is a young writer in Beijing who likes writing flash fiction, dialogues and poetry. He is also a master in textbook doodling.
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Story 225
The Best Place in the World
by Fahime Saeedi
Professor gave them time to rest. All the students left the class. He came out too, but it was as if his heart was stuck somewhere. He was not feeling well. His mind was busy. Busy with all the pain of his day. Regardless of his friend's move, he returned to class aimless, bored and stressed out.
The classroom was full of empty chairs and tables with thousands of words to say. He sat behind one of them. He stared at the board. He was drowning in his thoughts.
He remembered his childhood, when his cozy corner was on the stairs of his father's house. He was drowning in thought. Unaware of his surroundings.
When the others entered the class, he did not notice their presence and did not even notice that his classmates were stunned by his beautiful smile...
~
Fahime Saeedi Author Biography:
I am a girl from an average family from Iran. Graduated from the field of humanities and architecture. Forty one years old. I have been interested in writing since childhood. I am also an architect, inventor in various fields, painter...
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Story 226
Purrfect New Home
by Maggie Elliott
Why is my home locked up tighter than the Tower of London and pitch black. It's brass-monkey weather out here, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut and I'm scared out of my wits.
I'm about as useful as a chocolate fireguard at providing my own food; never had to. I hear laughter and follow it quick as a flash to a place where children laugh like hyenas and pet me. Bold as brass, I follow one home but am told to take a hike.
Later that night, dog tired, I find shelter in a warm shed with an open window. Over the next few days, my hunting skills improve. I've been homeless for ages when the lady whose shed I have occupied invites me in.
Warm as toast, thankful for a cosy bed and plenty food, I'm having the time of my life without a care in the world.
~
Maggie Elliott Author Biography:
Maggie Elliott is a retired PA who lives in Oxfordshire and writes purely for pleasure. She loves animals, particularly cats, listening to holistic music (David Sun, Deuter etc) and watching television comedies.
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Story 227
All's Fair in Love and War
by Hayley Allcock
Once upon a time, there was a battle between light and darkness, a fight between good and evil. On the good side was a brave superhero and his a loyal and humble sidekick, who was a bit of a diamond in the rough. On the other side an evil villain and a mad scientist, who were basically a ticking time bomb.
The battle, to earn the heart of the beautiful damsel in distress princess, had begun. Things were looking bad for the hero and sidekick, as the villains used their mad science experiments and inventions against them. But against all odds, the hero won the battle, winning the heart of the princess. It was love at first sight and they lived happily ever after.
~
Hayley Allcock Author Biography:
Hayley Allcock, UK has always had a passion for writing and enjoys literary content in various forms. Her son loves stories too, reading each day. Hayleys first professional writing credit is Ariel Chart, followed by Friday Flash Fiction.
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Story 228
Cheer Up Your Life While You Still Can
by Nuri Rosegg
You wake up on the wrong side of the bed and:
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Easier said than done?
That's a piece of cake if you play your cards right. You certainly have a party on your birthday. Let's say second February. Have a half-year party on the second of August too. Even better, have a monthly birthday party on the second day. Of course, each time it's with cake and gifts. Laughter is the best medicine. Life doesn't last an eternity. Death is just a matter of time. Maybe you won't live to see next Groundhog Day. God forbid!
~
Nuri Rosegg Author Biography:
Nuri Rosegg is a Norwegian writer based in Oslo. She has studied creative writing at The Open University (UK). In 2023 she has been published five times in the online anthology Visual Verse (UK).
*
Story 229
Time Will Tell
by Joe Parrillo
Against all odds, the ship carrying precious spices to the new America survived the dark and stormy night. In the blink of an eye, the torrential rains ceased and the sea was calm.
"Time flies when you’re having fun, right mates?" Captain Saltenpep joked.
Stone faces all around. He poured the crew a round of rum, then, together, they raised their flagons in gratitude that their mission was still alive. But they soon discovered this was just the calm before the storm. It returned more violently than the first.
At the speed of light, the men returned to their posts. Through their heart-stopping fear, they hoped that those clouds had a silver lining.
The captain shouted, “Don’t get your knickers in a twist, boys, this too shall pass!”
Only time would tell if his words would ring true, because the boy got up and changed the channel.
~
Joe Parrillo Author Biography:
At age 69, admittedly I am arriving late to the game. Being in pastoral ministry for over 30 years, I have written many sermons but was never motivated to have any of my writing published – until now.
*
Story 230
Across A Crowded Room
by Jenny Cleland
Their eyes met across a crowded room and her heart skipped a beat. He was tall, dark and handsome. She could tell he was from the other side of the tracks but opposites attract and maybe he would prove to be a rough diamond, the one she had been waiting for her whole life.
She decided to grab the bull by the horns. Her heart was in her mouth as she bravely stepped forward. He met her halfway and time stood still.
"I feel like we've met before," she said.
"Look," he said, "I am your father. Of all the bars in all the world, I knew it was only a matter of time before you walked into mine."
"But just like that you were gone," she said, "quick as a flash, without a backward glance."
He hung his head in shame. "...and regretted it every day of my life."
~
Jenny Cleland Author Biography:
Jenny Cleland's chapbook, Belonging to Myself, was published by Pen Points Press in 2016, the same year she won the Belfast Book Festival Poetry Slam. She has been published in various magazines and is now writing a novel.
*
Story 231
Crimson on Crimson
by Mary Ann Stuart
She emerged from the shadows as the music floated through the open window. She stepped into the pool of moonlight, her crimson dress shimmering in the silvery light.
She spoke softly, her voice trembling.
"I knew you would be here," she said.
Her eyes alighted on me, deep as bottomless pools. My heart skipped a beat as I took in her pleading expression. I had to steal myself and harden my heart against her wiles.
"It's over," I growled. "You're dead meat."
She gave an involuntary cry of anguish as her hand flew to her mouth. Too late, I saw the glint of steel as she raised the knife and plunged it into her heart, blood spreading crimson on crimson.
I shrugged and turned away.
"Huh, dead meat," I muttered under my breath as I went back to the house where the party continued in full swing.
~
Mary Ann Stuart Author Biography:
Mary Ann Stuart lives in North Norfolk with her partner and much loved deerhounds.
*
Story 232
Abundant Hands
by Kate Fisher
She was a busy bee. This time, she'd burnt the candle at both ends and burnt the midnight oil for far too long. She was dog tired and needed a break from the norm.
Taking a well-earned day off, she decided she'd do nothing, have a duvet day. As she let herself sink into the sofa – POOF! In a puff of smoke, a tall dark stranger appeared, dressed in clothes black as night. She didn't notice the horns at first.
"If you're going to sit here idle, I'll make work for your hands," he said.
"Are you the Devil?" Her voice shook.
"Yes, and I have a job for you."
"Urm... No thank you." She shut him out like an unwanted cold caller.
She immediately busied herself, deciding her hands would always be abundant. She would never have a devil may care attitude. She definitely didn't want him to care.
~
Kate Fisher Author Biography:
Kate Fisher is a fledgling writer and enjoys creative endeavours of all sorts. She is a potter by trade and now creates magical creatures through writing and beyond.
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Story 233
I'd Like To Thank...
by Julie Murray
As night falls, a distant wolf howls. She stumbles through the Californian forest, eyes darting left then right, glossy lips parted and long tousled hair in this year's shade of blonde. An owl screeches and the trees begin to rustle. She hears a twig crack...
"Who is it?" she cries, and begins to run, her blouse ripped and her increasingly exposed cleavage heaving. She trips over a log and rubs her twisted ankle.
An unshaven man with missing teeth in a grubby lumberjack shirt looms over her, wielding his sawn-off shotgun, saying, "Well, if it ain't helpless, pretty Miss Harriet."
Quick as a flash and in a pink puff of smoke, Harriet instantly becomes the latest blockbuster feminist superhero.
"Make my day, punk," says Dirty Harriet, toting her Magnum as her male pursuer cowers.
As the clip fades, the Hollywood compere announces, "And the Oscar goes to..."
~
Julie Murray Author Biography:
Although I'm certainly old enough to know better, I am newly writing in visible words after writing in my head all my life. It feels very good. I enjoy food, fashion and football, as well as many other things beginning with F. If this sounds pretentious, I have no reason to be as I was born and bred in Northampton, where this is not allowed. I now live in Norwich with my husband, Bob.
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Alan B
Hello Chris. It was so encouraging to see my short story 'Rocky' actually in print in Nonsensically Challenged Volume 1. Will be buying a few more copies for relatives.
It's obvious you work very hard to produce these volumes and raise money for charity as well. Thank you for giving so many writers like me a chance to appear in print.
Chris Fielden
Hi Alan. No problem at all. Thank you for submitting your stories. Without the generosity of all the writers featured in the books, none of this would be possible.
The challenges are all about encouraging people to have fun writing, so it's great to hear you feel encouraged. Thanks for letting me know :-)
Margaret E
Hi again, Chris. I really enjoyed reading about your new mobile office and your impressive work schedule - anyone who can harness a racing imagination to a self-disciplined realism deserves awe and respect. Unfortunately, I am finding your writing challenges so addictive that my writing 'pattern' now resembles word-grazing with no appetite for anything longer than a snack. The five-course novel is back in the freezer. I found the Cliché Challenge easily the easiest to write, which probably tells you everything you need to know. Best wishes.
Chris Fielden
Hi Margaret. Great, really glad to hear you liked the post about the mobile writing office. Yes, the challenges are addictive... I do hope I'm not stopping hundreds of novels being written by encouraging people to write flash fiction. Ah well... it's all for a good cause I guess :-) Maybe I should rent the writing office out to help get novel writers back on track? I'll put that on my 'to do' list..
Michael R
I agree with Margaret. These challenges may be the only game in town and their variety tune us into a Jack of all trades. But Chris is right too, not to put too finer point on it, by and large, they do not signal the kiss of death to something longer.
Chris Fielden
Thanks Michael. The challenges are the low hanging fruit of publication opportunities. However, one should not be discouraged from reaching for the stars. At the end of the day, take the tiger by the tail and, thick as thieves, follow your dreams. Every dog has its day.
Michael R
Hi Chris. Thanks, smart clever reply. We must be careful not to start a trend.
Sandy P
I really enjoy this challenge because I can use all the cliches I'm not allowed to use in normal offerings, great.
Chris Fielden
Fab, glad you enjoyed it Sandy - thanks for submitting :-)
Ron S
Story 015 line 6 has a 'You're' that should be a 'Your'.
Chris Fielden
Thanks, Ron - corrected :-)
Michael R
Hi Chris. For a while I thought cliche stories were coming in at a snails pace. Were we dragging our heels, perhaps? Was it just that time of year? And yes, I did realise Rome was not built in a day, but with just 4 to go I see it is coming to fruition and you'll soon be able to put a lid on it, so all's well that ends well.
Chris Fielden
Yes indeed, Michael. Submissions always come in fits and starts. It would seem that the New Year has resulted in pens being put to paper. Nonsense 2 is almost full too. I see lots of book editing in my near future... :-)
Jay B
Hi Chris. I hope this one nails it.
Chris Fielden
Nailed. Like the final item needed in a coffin lid.
Richard
BF
Hi Chris, just thought I'd point out that the last story, I guess, should be no. 158 as you have two story 157s.
Chris Fielden
Thanks for this, Richard - much appreciated. Fixed!
Phil M
I was reading story 202 by Allen Ashley when I realised that cliches are much harder to spot than I thought. I couldn't see anything wrong with the story! In fact Allen is pretty much describing my own love of Star Trek which rather like a soap opera brings around the same basic ideas week on week. I even love the 60s hair and soft focus faces. Definitely tweaked an area of interest for me even though I wouldn't really describe myself as a "trekkie". My favourite from the site at the moment definitely.
Chris Fielden
Hi Phil. Allen loves to toy with tropes and clichéd ideas, rather than using the more obvious hackneyed phraseology that's easy to spot. That's why all the stories he's submitted to this challenge are so good. Having been a judge of the British Fantasy Society short story comp for many years, I think he has a really good understanding of the genre and the clichés associated with it, hence that story :)
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