Ye Gods!

Ye Gods! heads on spikes logo

Ye Gods! From left to right: Stratt Williams, Dave Against The Machine, Cherrance Metal, Topher Icecry

About Ye Gods!

After many years of taking music too seriously and finding it hard to remember how to smile, Cherrance Metal and I were drinking an evil brew called Pigs Ear at the Slippit Inn motorcycle rally. While very, very drunk, the band was conceived. We decided to create a parody, in the same vein as Spinal Tap, Bad News, Tenacious D and The Darkness.

Ye Gods!

Sometimes, when encountering the tiny minds of drummers and bassists, questionable inspiration cannot be thwarted by the sober light of day. Dave Against The Machine and Stratt Williams were plied with booze and false promises until a rehearsal was booked.

Ye Gods! chips logo

Ye Gods! 'I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips' logo

Since then, Ye Gods! have relentlessly upset audiences (and each other) with their wanton destruction of songs, disturbingly loud noise generation, wearing of togas and mullet wigs and refusal to take music seriously.

Ye Gods Queen

Ye Gods! From left, clockwise: Cherrance Metal, Dave Against The Machine, Topher Icecry, Stratt Williams

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Ye Gods! Videos

Some videos by Ye Gods!

Ye Gods

Below is a video of Ye Gods! performing Ye Gods – a song that shares its name with the band, in case you’re feeling confused. I like to refer to it as the most expensive video never paid for. It was directed by James Holloway of Eyelights as a promo, showing the quality of work their studio can offer. It allowed Ye Gods! to dick about on motorcycles and show how sexy a group of fat, sunburnt men can look in togas (hmm...).

Ye Gods Lyrics

Disciples of rock, worshippers of roll, heed the word that is sung to you, deep down in your soul,

Jack in your job, go sign on the dole, bow thine head to the great god Metal at the alter of rock and roll,

Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.

AC/DC, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Motorhead, keep the great god Metal appeased,

Listen to pop music, instead of mighty rock, I'd rather take up a rusty blade, and cut off my own cock,

Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.

We like drinking beer, and riding motorbikes, and playing guitar, bass and drums, late into the night,

Pits of fire and brimstone, listen to my dream, bring forth the mighty heavy metal, rock and roll machine,

Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.

Little Head

Little Head was a song written to celebrate Mega Geoff’s tiny head for his 40th birthday. Fair play to Mega Geoff for managing to keep a straight face while we filmed this. The video was filmed at Room 4 Rehearsal Studios in Bristol.

Little Head Lyrics

So tiny, so small, so cute, little head.

Geoff's, small, head, pat it, pat it, pat it, pat it.

Geoff's, small, head, pat it, stroke it, lick it, love it.

So tiny, so small, so cute, little head.

Dr Who Theme Tune

One of the first tracks we recorded was an Iron Maiden-esque version of the Dr Who theme tune, which has been quite highly acclaimed and used by the BBC. Not for use in Dr Who unfortunately (it was used in an episode of Hard Sell), although we are ever hopeful.

I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips

This video was r eleased on Valentine's Day 2016 (it seemed apt...).

If you're a man who isn't good with words, Ye Gods! will deal with the poetry your lady wants on Valentine's day. Woo your woman. Play her this song. She'll love it. For sure.

I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips was inspired by a real-life incident. My good friend, Seggy 'The Phantom' Hedges, was on his way home from the seething metropolis of Bristol to the safe havens of Portishead after a night on beer one dark and misty night. Seggy boarded that fabled chariot, the A369 (a bus), and sat on the back seat behind a silver-tongued devil who was in the middle of wooing his woman. The couple started arguing, and said silver-tongued devil uttered the immortal words:

"I loves Ee, I Fucks Ee, I buys Ee chips, what more does Ee want?"

When Seggy told me this story, I realised that a moment that special, so filled with love and passion, could not go unrecorded in history. It would be criminal to allow such a travesty to occur. Thus, this song was written.

I Loves You I Fucks You I Buys You Chips is on the studio album Grimoire of the Gods.

I Loves You I Fucks You I Buys You Chips Lyrics

I loves you but you winds I up, I loves you but you winds I up, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you but you winds I up, I don't know what more you want from me.

I loves you but you does my head in, I loves you but you does my head in, I loves you respects you I licks you out, I loves you but you does my head in, I don't know what more you want from me,

I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you and I buys you chips.

I loves you but you get on me tits, I loves you but you get on me tits, I loves you I honours you I tweaks your nips, I loves you but you get on me tits, I don't know what more you want from me,

I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you and I buys you chips.

The A Team Theme Tune

This is a recording of The A Team Theme Tune by Ye Gods! We are very sorry indeed.

A Shot In The Dark

Finally, this is a recording of Ye Gods! performing A Shot In The Dark, one of the legendary Pink Panther films starring Peter Sellers.

This video features pictures of mad Ye Gods! fans, wearing the band's T-shirts at various locations around this fine planet.

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Ye Gods! Discography

Grimoire of the Gods CD (2016)

Ye Gods! Grimoire of the Gods

Buy Grimoire of the Gods CDs on Amazon

In the CD's description on Amazon, you will see a message written to Ye Gods! by the legendary Philthy Animal Taylor.

Grimoire of the Gods is released in the memory of Philthy and Lemmy, who have been an inspiration to us all for decades - rest in peace mighty purveyors of noise.

Full Metal Racket CD (2009)

Ye Gods! Full Metal Racket

SOLD OUT

Live at the Fleece CD (2005)

Ye Gods! 4 mullet wigs on a washing line

SOLD OUT

Le Banditos Avec Les Mullet CD (2005)

Ye Gods! Le Banditos Avec Les Mullet

SOLD OUT

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Giggage

Upcoming Gigs

There are no Ye Gods! gigs planned at present, but in the future, who knows...

Past Gigs

Xmas Extravaganza, The Poacher, Portishead, 22nd December 2018

Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 22nd December 2017

The Poacher, Portishead, 30th July 2016

Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 11th June 2016

The Bear Inn, Weston-Super-Mare, 23rd January 2016

Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 19th December 2015

Private Party, Clarence House, Portishead, 7th November 2015

Clevedon Tides Festival, The Salthouse, Clevedon, 19th September 2015 @ 16:45pm

P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 18th July 2015

The Bear Inn, Weston-Super-Mare, 27th June 2015

Winterfest, The Bristol Inn, Clevedon, Saturday 31st January 2015

The Triangle Club, Clevedon, Saturday 24th January 2015

Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 20th December 2014

Ye Gods! with The Gimp & The Phantom, performing Big Bottom by Spinal Tap

10th Anniversary All Day Mestival, Clarence House, Portishead, 19th July 2014

Private Wedding, SS Great Britain, Bristol, 5th July 2014

Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 21st December 2013

Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 22nd June 2013

Private Wedding, SS Great Britain, Bristol, 1st June 2013

Ye Gods! with Uncle Les, performing Wonder of You by Elvis

Ye Gods! with Uncle Les, performing Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen

Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 15th December 2012

The Rising Sun, Backwell - Saturday, 4th August 2012

Justfest Private Party, Chew Magna, July 14th 2012

Xmas Extravaganza, Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 10th December 2011

The Fire Engine, Bristol, 9th September 2011

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 9th April 2011

Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Football Club, 11th December 2010

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 3rd June 2010

The Full Moon, Bristol, 26th February 2010

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 30th January 2010

Xmas Extravaganza, The Plough, Portishead, 12th December 2009

The Full Moon, Bristol, 2nd October 2009

The Plough, Portishead, 18th July 2009

Ye Gods! Video Shoot 2, Eyelights, Portishead, 5th July 2009

Ye Gods! Video Shoot 1, Yate & Portishead, 13th June 2009

Brothers MRC Bike Show, The Riverside Inn, Saltford, 6th June 2009

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 4th April 2009

The Somerset Hall, Portishead with Frenetica, 13th March 2009

Danfest, The Plough, Portishead, 3rd March 2009

WYSIWYG Bike Rally, Watchfield, 19th September 2008

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 13th September 2008

Joanstone's Wedding Aniversary, Avonmouth RFC, 30th August 2008

Mr Wolfs, Bristol with Alien Stash Tin, 21st August 2008

WYSIWYG Bike Rally, Bristol, 12th July 2008

The Kings Arms, Bristol, 12th June 2008

Xmas Extravaganza, The Old Fox, Bristol, 15th December 2007

Mega Geoff's 40th, Clarence House, Portishead, 1st December 2007

Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 17th November 2007

BCFM Rockshow, The Radio, 21st October 2007

Hardsell, BBC1, The TV, Dr Who Theme, 20th September 2007

Disco Mike's Birthday Bonanza, Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 13th July 2007

The Golden Lion, Bristol, 22nd June 2007

Foxes Bike Rally, Watchfield, 27th April 2007

The Louisiana, Bristol, 2nd February 2007

Moles Club, Bath, 28th December 2006

Xmas Extravaganza, Fleece & Firkin, Bristol, 21st December 2006

Marine Lake Festival, Clevedon, 17th September 2006

The Back of a Lorry, Portishead Carnival, 17th June 2006

The Royal Oak, Portishead, 16th May 2006

The Old Fox, Bristol, 21st April 2006

The Louisiana, Bristol, 15th April 2006

The Hatchett, Bristol, 1st February 2006

The Full Moon, Bristol with The Sex Gods From Planet Metal, 10th December 2005

Icky & Bob's Pig Munching Mayhem, Portishead, 27th August 2005

The White Lion, Cambridge, Gloucestershire, 20th August 2005

The Royal Oak, Portishead, 1st July 2005

Topher & Georgie's Wedding, Craig Y Nos Castle, Wales, 28th May 2005

Portishead Football Club with Vic Du Monte, 24th April 2005

Fleece & Firkin, Bristol with John Otway, 11th Marh 2005

Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Football Club, 18th December 2004

Portishead Football Club with Ironically Maiden, 23rd October 2004

Dave & Nadine's Wedding, Chew Magna, 2nd October 2004

Cherrance & Trish's Wedding, Portishead, 10th July 2004

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Line-up

Dave Against The Machine - guitar & vocals

Topher Icecry - drums & vocals

Cherrance Metal - bass & vocals

Stratt Williams - guitar

Ye Gods A Team

From left, clockwise: Cherrance Metal, Dave Against The Machine, Topher Icecry, Stratt Williams

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Contact Ye Gods!

If you would like to book Ye Gods! to play at your venue, party or whatever (we will consider anything as long as booze is involved) then please contact me.

Ye Gods! Skull

Website & Facebook Page

If for some strange reason you feel compelled to know more about this special kind of rock & roll buffoonery, you can find Ye Gods! on Facebook. Sadly, our website no longer exists.

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Music

You can find out more about the bands I play in by returning to the music section of this website.

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