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From left to right: Stratt Williams, Dave Against The Machine, Cherrance Metal, Topher Icecry
After many years of taking music too seriously and finding it hard to remember how to smile, Cherrance Metal and I were drinking an evil brew called Pigs Ear at the Slippit Inn motorcycle rally. While very, very drunk, the band was conceived. We decided to create a parody, in the same vein as Spinal Tap, Bad News, Tenacious D and The Darkness.
Sometimes, when encountering the tiny minds of drummers and bassists, questionable inspiration cannot be thwarted by the sober light of day. Dave Against The Machine and Stratt Williams were plied with booze and false promises until a rehearsal was booked.
Ye Gods! 'I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips' logo
Since then, Ye Gods! have relentlessly upset audiences (and each other) with their wanton destruction of songs, disturbingly loud noise generation, wearing of togas and mullet wigs and refusal to take music seriously.
From left, clockwise: Cherrance Metal, Dave Against The Machine, Topher Icecry, Stratt Williams
Some videos by Ye Gods!
Below is a video of Ye Gods! performing Ye Gods – a song that shares its name with the band, in case you’re feeling confused. I like to refer to it as the most expensive video never paid for. It was directed by James Holloway of Eyelights as a promo, showing the quality of work their studio can offer. It allowed Ye Gods! to dick about on motorcycles and show how sexy a group of fat, sunburnt men can look in togas (hmm...).
Disciples of rock, worshippers of roll, heed the word that is sung to you, deep down in your soul,
Jack in your job, go sign on the dole, bow thine head to the great god Metal at the alter of rock and roll,
Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.
AC/DC, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Motorhead, keep the great god Metal appeased,
Listen to pop music, instead of mighty rock, I'd rather take up a rusty blade, and cut off my own cock,
Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.
We like drinking beer, and riding motorbikes, and playing guitar, bass and drums, late into the night,
Pits of fire and brimstone, listen to my dream, bring forth the mighty heavy metal, rock and roll machine,
Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods, Ye Gods.
Little Head was a song written to celebrate Mega Geoff’s tiny head for his 40th birthday. Fair play to Mega Geoff for managing to keep a straight face while we filmed this. The video was filmed at Room 4 Rehearsal Studios in Bristol.
So tiny, so small, so cute, little head.
Geoff's, small, head, pat it, pat it, pat it, pat it.
Geoff's, small, head, pat it, stroke it, lick it, love it.
So tiny, so small, so cute, little head.
One of the first tracks we recorded was an Iron Maiden-esque version of the Dr Who theme tune, which has been quite highly acclaimed and used by the BBC. Not for use in Dr Who unfortunately (it was used in an episode of Hard Sell), although we are ever hopeful.
This video was r eleased on Valentine's Day 2016 (it seemed apt...).
If you're a man who isn't good with words, Ye Gods! will deal with the poetry your lady wants on Valentine's day. Woo your woman. Play her this song. She'll love it. For sure.
I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips was inspired by a real-life incident. My good friend, Seggy 'The Phantom' Hedges, was on his way home from the seething metropolis of Bristol to the safe havens of Portishead after a night on beer one dark and misty night. Seggy boarded that fabled chariot, the A369 (a bus), and sat on the back seat behind a silver-tongued devil who was in the middle of wooing his woman. The couple started arguing, and said silver-tongued devil uttered the immortal words:
"I loves Ee, I Fucks Ee, I buys Ee chips, what more does Ee want?"
When Seggy told me this story, I realised that a moment that special, so filled with love and passion, could not go unrecorded in history. It would be criminal to allow such a travesty to occur. Thus, this song was written.
I Loves You I Fucks You I Buys You Chips is on the studio album Grimoire of the Gods. See how to buy it below.
I loves you but you winds I up, I loves you but you winds I up, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you but you winds I up, I don't know what more you want from me.
I loves you but you does my head in, I loves you but you does my head in, I loves you respects you I licks you out, I loves you but you does my head in, I don't know what more you want from me,
I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you and I buys you chips.
I loves you but you get on me tits, I loves you but you get on me tits, I loves you I honours you I tweaks your nips, I loves you but you get on me tits, I don't know what more you want from me,
I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you I fucks you I buys you chips, I loves you and I buys you chips.
Ye Gods! trying to re-create Queen's Sheer Heart Attack album cover while taking a break from shooting the I Loves You, I Fucks You, I Buys You Chips video.
Ye Gods! - Queer, Sheer Fart Attack
Grimoire of the Gods CD (2016)
Buy Grimoire of the Gods CDs on Amazon
In the CD's description on Amazon, you will see a message written to Ye Gods! by the legendary Philthy Animal Taylor.
Grimoire of the Gods is released in the memory of Philthy and Lemmy, who have been an inspiration to us all for decades - rest in peace mighty purveyors of noise.
Full Metal Racket CD (2009)
SOLD OUT
Live at the Fleece CD (2005)
SOLD OUT
Le Banditos Avec Les Mullet CD (2005)
SOLD OUT
Xmas Extravaganza, The Poacher, Portishead, 22nd December 2018
Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 22nd December 2017
CANCELLED DUE TO DRUMMER'S GIMPY WRIST Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 17th December 2016
CANCELLED DUE TO DIARISTIC SPAZMONGERY The Bear Inn, Weston-Super-Mare, 3rd September 2016
The Poacher, Portishead, 30th July 2016
Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 11th June 2016
The Bear Inn, Weston-Super-Mare, 23rd January 2016
Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 19th December 2015
Private Party, Clarence House, Portishead, 7th November 2015
Clevedon Tides Festival, The Salthouse, Clevedon, 19th September 2015 @ 16:45pm
P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 18th July 2015
The Bear Inn, Weston-Super-Mare, 27th June 2015
Winterfest, The Bristol Inn, Clevedon, Saturday 31st January 2015
The Triangle Club, Clevedon, Saturday 24th January 2015
Xmas Extravaganza, P'head Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 20th December 2014
Ye Gods! with The Gimp & The Phantom, performing Big Bottom by Spinal Tap
10th Anniversary All Day Mestival, Clarence House, Portishead, 19th July 2014
Private Wedding, SS Great Britain, Bristol, 5th July 2014
Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 21st December 2013
Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 22nd June 2013
Private Wedding, SS Great Britain, Bristol, 1st June 2013
Ye Gods! with Uncle Les, performing Wonder of You by Elvis
Ye Gods! with Uncle Les, performing Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen
Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Workmans Club, Slade Road, BS20 6BW, 15th December 2012
The Rising Sun, Backwell - Saturday, 4th August 2012
Justfest Private Party, Chew Magna, July 14th 2012
Xmas Extravaganza, Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 10th December 2011
The Fire Engine, Bristol, 9th September 2011
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 9th April 2011
Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Football Club, 11th December 2010
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 3rd June 2010
The Full Moon, Bristol, 26th February 2010
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 30th January 2010
Xmas Extravaganza, The Plough, Portishead, 12th December 2009
The Full Moon, Bristol, 2nd October 2009
The Plough, Portishead, 18th July 2009
Ye Gods! Video Shoot 2, Eyelights, Portishead, 5th July 2009
Ye Gods! Video Shoot 1, Yate & Portishead, 13th June 2009
Brothers MRC Bike Show, The Riverside Inn, Saltford, 6th June 2009
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 4th April 2009
The Somerset Hall, Portishead with Frenetica, 13th March 2009
Danfest, The Plough, Portishead, 3rd March 2009
WYSIWYG Bike Rally, Watchfield, 19th September 2008
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 13th September 2008
Joanstone's Wedding Aniversary, Avonmouth RFC, 30th August 2008
Mr Wolfs, Bristol with Alien Stash Tin, 21st August 2008
WYSIWYG Bike Rally, Bristol, 12th July 2008
The Kings Arms, Bristol, 12th June 2008
Xmas Extravaganza, The Old Fox, Bristol, 15th December 2007
Mega Geoff's 40th, Clarence House, Portishead, 1st December 2007
Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 17th November 2007
BCFM Rockshow, The Radio, 21st October 2007
Hardsell, BBC1, The TV, Dr Who Theme, 20th September 2007
Disco Mike's Birthday Bonanza, Workingmen's Club, Portishead, 13th July 2007
The Golden Lion, Bristol, 22nd June 2007
Foxes Bike Rally, Watchfield, 27th April 2007
The Louisiana, Bristol, 2nd February 2007
Moles Club, Bath, 28th December 2006
Xmas Extravaganza, Fleece & Firkin, Bristol, 21st December 2006
Marine Lake Festival, Clevedon, 17th September 2006
The Back of a Lorry, Portishead Carnival, 17th June 2006
The Royal Oak, Portishead, 16th May 2006
The Old Fox, Bristol, 21st April 2006
The Louisiana, Bristol, 15th April 2006
The Hatchett, Bristol, 1st February 2006
The Full Moon, Bristol with The Sex Gods From Planet Metal, 10th December 2005
Icky & Bob's Pig Munching Mayhem, Portishead, 27th August 2005
The White Lion, Cambridge, Gloucestershire, 20th August 2005
The Royal Oak, Portishead, 1st July 2005
Topher & Georgie's Wedding, Craig Y Nos Castle, Wales, 28th May 2005
Portishead Football Club with Vic Du Monte, 24th April 2005
Fleece & Firkin, Bristol with John Otway, 11th Marh 2005
Xmas Extravaganza, Portishead Football Club, 18th December 2004
Portishead Football Club with Ironically Maiden, 23rd October 2004
Dave & Nadine's Wedding, Chew Magna, 2nd October 2004
Cherrance & Trish's Wedding, Portishead, 10th July 2004
Dave Against The Machine - guitar & vocals
Topher Icecry - drums & vocals
Cherrance Metal - bass & vocals
Stratt Williams - guitar
From left, clockwise: Cherrance Metal, Dave Against The Machine, Topher Icecry, Stratt Williams
If you would like to book Ye Gods! to play at your venue, party or whatever (we will consider anything as long as booze is involved) then please contact me.
If for some strange reason you feel compelled to know more about this special kind of rock & roll buffoonery, visit the Ye Gods! website. And you can also find Ye Gods! on Facebook.
Jack E
Following is your beloved "Chips", in Spanish. Two caveats:
(1) I had to research some of the... vocabulary... I made it rhyme and the metre comes out right.
(2) If you sing this in Spain, there will be some words that they do not know. I don't know that kind of Spanish, only Guatemalan.
Te Quiero Te Jodo Te Compro Botanas
Te quiero pero me molestas, te quiero pero me molestas, te quiero, te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero pero me molestas no sé qué más quieres de mí.
Te quiero pero me das jaquecas, te quiero pero me das jaquecas, te quiero, te respeto, te lameré, te quiero pero me das jaquecas, no sé qué más quieres de mí.
Te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero y te compro botanas.
Te quiero pero sacas mi quicio, te quiero pero sacas mi quicio, te quiero, te honro, te pellizco los pezones, te quiero pero sacas mi quicio, no sé qué más quieres de mí.
Te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero te jodo, te compro botanas, te quiero y te compro botanas.
English Reconstruction as Crepes Suzette
I love you but you wind me up, Show me things I cannot touch, Say you love me but not too much, Want you to fly but you won’t budge, When this eagle takes off, it won’t leave the mouse on the ground.
I love you respect but gonna reject you, If you won’t let me do what can infect you, Like a luxury car I’ve gotta wreck you,
If you won’t get down I’ve gotta deck you, Gonna knock you off your pedestal now.
Chorus: I love you wanna fuck you wanna buy you chips, I love you but I only get the least of it, I love you wanna fuck you wanna buy you chips, Chips now, but later Crepes Suzette!
[Musical Interlude]
You wanna be a lady of class and taste, To you it’s high fashion to me its waste, You wanna be caviar but I’m pork pie, You just tantalise make me want to die, I’m not as ugly as I look...
[Chorus]
Flamin’ Crepes Suzette!
I hope all of that gives you enjoyment and does not get "on your tits".
Chris Fielden
Jack, that is AWESOME. I can only conclude that you are a language genius.
You have surpassed the title of Legend and become a Rock Overlord, a title only bestowed by Ye Gods! to a select handful of individuals. It may please you to know that Philthy Animal Taylor is one of the few who also holds that title \m/
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